you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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