I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
