I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
