Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize