well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
