Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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