At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
