I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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