I'm jealous of your bromance
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
