i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize