i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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