Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
