Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
