i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
