I got chris browned last night
im six kinds of drunk right now
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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