so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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