Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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