the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
