You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
