Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
