no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
