Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
