I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
