so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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