he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
