Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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