oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
