you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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