It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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