Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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