yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
