I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
