Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
