and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
