Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize