maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
