you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
