he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
