I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
