If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
