Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
