I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you will always have a special place in my vag
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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