i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
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