I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
