Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
