either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
