hotel room ftw
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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