now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
