she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
