? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
