Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
