I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
