I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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