Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
