Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
