Got a toothbrush?
D3 body, D1 cock
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
