I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Holy shit dude........stairs
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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