Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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