But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize