is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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