Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
