You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
