I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
