we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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