Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
