We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize