yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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