Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
