I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
