So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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