What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
