there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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