the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
