summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
