We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
