Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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