At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
