i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
