remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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