im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
