Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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